Monterosso (cinque terre), Italy (zombie survival)

Posted: September 6, 2012 in ADVENTURE STORIES!, Z0mB!eZ
Tags: , ,

Monterosso is one of the 5 cities (vinca terras) in the mouth of the Italian Rivera. Little villages of about 1000+ people that has turned into a resort get-away for tourists. During the winter, like most tourist attractions, the place is deserted and a lot of attention goes towards fixing up the rooms/properties and general maintenance. During the on-season there are boat rentals, music parties, lots and lots and lots of food, hiking to the other towns and beach-time.

The Italians (here… As this is my first experience in the country) are lovely, polite- even if their English isn’t great. (strange for a resort town, but I’m the foreigner!) it does make you wonder– would they say “brains”? Or “mente!”?

So many questions!

“Enough about this… LN! I want to know if Italy (Monterosso) is a fit location for the zombie apocalypse!”

Alrighty then… We’ll get started.

Cinque Terre : 53/70

Location: 8/10
The weather was amazing for the week I visited. It was 72 (22C) the whole time I was here. The evenings were cool, it rained randomly- but never for very long, and the humidity levels are just perfect where my curly hair looks like something that was painted by Botticelli.

Monterosso is also located in mountains (grape, olive and lemon farmland) where you have to hike over semi-steep/rough terrain to get to the next town over. There are roads, but most of the people don’t drive or have access to cars, so they take the train that was erected in 1870.

Water: 9/10
The Mediterranean Sea is glorious. For us, it didn’t matter what time you went swimming, it was always the temperature of bath water. It’s also suuuuuuper salty where you float! Because of the salt, it’s said to have healing properties….. I doubt it would heal the undead, though.

Lodging: 8/10
(see pic) the houses here are built up and on top of each other. My traveling friend and I made the comment that our room “was on the top of billy-goat bluff” because of how many steep stairs we needed to climb. I barely stumbled up them after drinking 3 bottles of prosecco- so zombies would have a harder time, I would think.

The rooms/houses are really close together which can be beneficial incase you are in a James bond movie and need to jump from window to window.

Food: 10/10
Where do I start? You would never be hungry here. So much pasta, fresh lemons, grapes, olive/olive oil, bread, prosecco, seafood, gelato. The worst thing would be fresh water. (but why drink water when there is so much wine?!?)

Costco/equivilant: 3/10
Monterosso is a town of 1500. There are 5 bars, 1 pharmacy, 1 bank, 1 post office and 2 tiny markets. The rest of the shops are for the tourists. There are no “just for the locals” places because it’s just too small to even differentiate. That being said- there is no Costco… Not for miles in any direction.

Also, that being said, I’m not sure guns exist here. I haven’t seen any police with any on their person.

Non-dead dangers: 8/10
Dehydration, flooding, and sunburn would probably be the worst of it. I thought one would die of gluttony because of the richness of the food- but I’ve been gorging myself and don’t feel disgusting (like I do after thanksgiving, for example) afterwards. We aren’t sure if this is because their food has no preservatives or chemical crap that lousy American food has.

It would be interesting to see if zombies in Italy would rot faster because of this fact.

Locals: 7/10
Getting used to “Italy time” isn’t just a jet lag problem… It’s a culture thing. Nothing happens fast here. Unless its running after a bocce ball or after a cute girl on the beach.

With that said, they dance a lot, swim, sit and listen to the ocean, and- of course- play bocce!

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