Posted: October 5, 2014 in ADVENTURE STORIES!, TRAVEL
Tags: , , ,

On every custom form they ask for your occupation. I never know what to answer on this because

A) I’ve been freelancing for over 2 years now (read: finding work whenever I need it)
B) listing that is really boring and requires explanation.

I’m also convinced that no one really notices/cares about your occupation unless it was something useful- like doctor or teacher.

So I’ve taken to making up occupations on customs forms. I always tried to pick occupations that justify the lack of money I’m bringing into the country.

To date, I have been the following:

  • sound designer
  • bassoon player
  • barista
  • backpacker
  • girlfriend
  • cat herder
  • zoo keeper
  • art historian
  • ninja
  • disaster relief
  • Zombie hunter
  • pole dancer.

This last one raised some eyebrows at the Zimbabwe boarder this morning. He asked “what is a pole dancer?”

“Surely you have gone to a strip club and seen these girls dancing on poles?” I asked.

“Oh! Yes!” (A second goes by as he processes this….) “dance for me?”

“Nah. Y’all don’t have the pole and I’m dressed for the bush- not for dancing.” (I realize what this may mean in the states- but I had just come from Chobe National Park where we were “bush camping”. Look it up. Think: Lions roaring right outside your tent. Yea. Not what you thought, is it?!?.)

“We’ll arrange it. You’re staying in Vic for 7 days? You come back here. Dress the part- we’ll give you a free visa.”

………. Huh. That may be the most money I would have made pole dancing. (The next amount being a shot of rum to stop because I’m *that* terrible and their insurance didn’t cover clumsiness…)

While this is very tempting and flattering, I have a dormant volcano to climb. Onwards to Zambia!

  1. LOL! Somebody somewhere is going to be reading those and scratching their heads for sure. You should also claim any new place you have been to in the name of Spain like Ponce de Leon! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJT989Sog4Y

  2. […] during my overland trip) was good enough I wanted to see where this would go. So when I arrived in Vic-Falls I booked my flight with frequent fliers using united.com’s (star alliance) website. I checked […]

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